Man vs. bird (and a plug for zombies)
I hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving. Thought I'd share my tale of this year's bird. After last year's mishap with the T-day dinner I got from Boston Market, this year I decided to save some cash and get a dinner from Safeway.
Here's the bird and box o'fixings. The way this was packaged, it seemed like some kind of government disaster ration, a FEMA turkey dinner.
The box o'fixins opened. (Everything but dinnerware and mooching in-laws)
Uh-oh. I didn't open the box until Thanksgiving day and the instructions said to defrost the bird 2-3 days. Even though I had kept the bird defrosting overnight in the lettuce crisper, I blasted Mr. Gobbler in the microwave to make sure. Then into the oven along with the mashed potatoes and stuffing from the box o'fixings. Okay, so far so good. I was about to say, Mission Accomplished,
but the last time someone said that...well, you know the rest. (Doesn't the bird look like an alien embryo?)
Take no prisoners. The ravaged bird at Jennifer Mosquera's house.
And cheers! (My handsome sons are on the left. Everyone else are a bunch of hungry drunks.)
What's a get together without one disaster? While we were busy drinking and playing Rock Band, Bartlebee (the little dog at the bottom) jumped on the buffet table and pushed one of the pumpkin pies to the floor. Gideon, the pug, ate the whole pie.
Since we are the Biting-Edge, and not Rachael Ray, here is a little undead news from our friends over at Vampyres Online. In case you missed the cinematic event of the decade, check out Vampire Chicks with Chainsaws
. I'll bet she doesn't bother with a turkey dinner from Safeway. (Apparently they didn't have the budget for fangs.)THIS JUST IN!Mark Henry, urban fantasy author, zombie enthusiast, and snark stylist, has relaunched his website. Visit to get your freak on.