Welcome to Biting-Edge, a blog shared by authors and vampire experts, Mario Acevedo and Jeanne Stein. We’ll cover urban fantasy, vampires, pop culture, and all things Joss Whedon. Unlike other fantasy blogs, we don’t insist on body cavity searches (unless you ask politely). Snarkiness is most welcome...though we won't promise not to bite back!

Thursday, November 01, 2007
  The Bad Santa Contest





It's here, our vaunted literary XXXmas gladiator fight. Many will heed the call but only one will prevail. Only one will emerge standing. Alive. With prizes.

Your story must be:
1. Original and unpublished. (We at Biting-Edge are not going to hassle with The New Yorker over your copyright.)
2. 250 words or less. (Go ahead and try a one-word story, smarty pants. We dare ya!)
3. About Santa however you define him, her, or it. (Red suit, beard, ho-ho-ho, alcoholic breath, kids on his grimy lap while he's sprouting a boner (but I digress, I'm over that, really), the creeping around and seeing who sleeps in the nude, etc.,)
4. Set in the holiday season (Christmas in other words though Kwanza, Hannukah, Winter Solstice, and Festivus are okay.)
4. Include the word "fuck" (Not frig, fug, freakin', boink, bang, the deed, etc.)
5. Received by midnight, November 23, 2007. (MST time in this dimension, you fantasy writers.) Submit to jeanne@jeannestein.com

Additional rules:
1. The decision of the judges is final (Though we do accept cash or sexual favors as bribes--for a rate quote, ask Jeanne.)
2. The winning entry will receive a global post on the Biting-Edge blog and our plethora of prizes. (In case you thought a Nobel was cool.)

So what are the prizes worthy of your sweat and tears from struggling with the Muse? Check out this cornucopia of booty, me Holiday hearties.





















And of course, the Treasure of Treasures, the Holy Grail of prizes...a Devil Duck.
 
Comments:
If it's a one word story, and we have to include the word fuck, then wouldn't the story read:

Fuck.

??

Or, I guess it could read:

Fuck!

Or:

Fuck?

Or if I'm a teenaged blogger, maybe:

fUcK!

Did I win yet??
 
*martyr-like sigh* Well, as 'SOMEONE' made off my Devil Duck (after plying it with beer) ... I guess I'll just have to enter this one and win another one.

Though that one had quite a great vacation this summer. :D
 
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