Comrades! The people have spoken
Mario here: The votes have been counted, the bribes paid, and we have chosen a winner.
Thanks to all who entered our contest. You floored us with your masterful prose. Because of the skill and talent demonstrated by the finalists, Jeanne and I have decided to award them each a Devil Duck.
Yes, it’s true. Four Devil Ducks awarded at one time! It staggers the imagination. The Algonquin Round Table only got one Duck (for Dorothy Parker). At the end of World War Two, the victorious American general staff got two (George Marshall and Ira Eaker). The crew of Apollo 11 got three for being the first men on the moon. And now, decades later, we award four of the Devil Ducks. It’s a little known fact that Devil Ducks are made of 24 karat gold, unless they were on backorder, in which case, we the staff of Biting-Edge, reserve the right to substitute Devil Ducks made of space-age polymers. Honorable Mentions
go to:Kathy Matthews
and Gillian Taylor
for Fashion Model
First place Runner-Up
. Now, this is not second place, this first place runner-up means something big. Huge. King Kong huge.
In the event, however unlikely...who are we kidding...the winner of this contest will be lucky to see next week. Devil Ducks go for a king’s ransom on the Asian market. Arm yourselves.
for Eat Only Vegetarians
Now on to the Grand Champion of the World of our Fantabulous Vampire Writing Contest
. Ding! Ding! Ding!
We could pay off your mortgage, make your car payments, offer healthcare for life (implants and face lifts included), but no. We award this: The Devil Duck Grand Prize
. And enough swag to swamp a boat (a very small boat).Aubrey Davis
for Vampire in the Hawaiian Shirt
, otherwise known as the tampon story.
Ta da! There you have it. Before you celebrate too much, remember that story, The Monkey’s Paw?
It was originally titled, The Devil Duck.
* So beware.
Everybody, congratulate our winners. Finalists, make sure you send your shipping address to Jeanne@jeannestein.com
* Just kidding.