Last week on this blog Jeanne asked for the skinny on "chupacabra" since Marta's and my definition didn't match. Taken literally, "chupa" means "suck." "cabra" is "goat." Suck-goat. What does that mean?
To set the record straight I went to the source and asked a chupacabra. Where would I find a chupacabra? Quite easily. On Match.com. She had an adorable screen name: dontphucwithme
We met at the Monkey Bean, a cafe north of downtown Denver. She wore a tank, shorts, and flip-flops. I ordered dark roast Zapatista blend, Chupacabra had a soy chai.
"What," I asked, "no blood?"
"I'm a strict vegan, I don't even give hickies."
"Then how do you define yourself?"
She lapped her chai with a forked tongue. "What if my last name would've been 'Glasscock?' Would you have asked the same question?"
Other than the talons, leathery green skin, and mouthful of serrated teeth, she didn't fit my definition of a "chupacabra."
Her cell phone vibrated and she answered. "It's my girlfriends," she said to me. "We're going to party tonight with zombies and werewolves. They're not vegetarians. Wanna come with?"
"Wise decision." Chupacabra got up and left.